I feel like I’m floating, detached from reality, knocked out of my body. Here, but not here. Awake, but wishing for the reprieve of sleep.
The language available to describe it doesn’t come close.
Most of us feel the same — maybe we’ve felt this way for years, maybe forever — discombobulated and unable to comprehend this broken world. We’re endlessly searching for a sense of belonging that perhaps we’ll never find, because this seems too cruel a place to call “home”. We suspect that we came from somewhere else; somewhere more kind, more gentle.
We dream of that world — a jewel-blue planet like this one — but where humans, animals and the environment are respected. Where life is something to celebrate, and love is something to multiply.
Where bombs and guns don’t exist.
And yet. We look around and can’t help but notice how still, still this world is magnificent. As far as we know, there’s nowhere else like it. The sky still turns pink as the sun tips over the horizon. Birds still chirp me awake. Waterfalls still gush, plants still push their way through barriers and burst from the ground, smelling all the sweeter for their struggle. My cat still purrs as though All Is Well and I don’t have the heart to tell him…
But above all, humans everywhere refuse to give up. Through unimaginable grief, pain and loss, they still fight for their rightful place on this exquisite Earth. If they’re not giving up, then I won’t either.
Through extreme hardship, people still manage to find ways to love, to laugh, to create.
We find ways to keep on fighting for that kinder world.
And honestly, we are winning, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
We are winning, because we must.
Now and forever, free Palestine.
If you’re struggling with all of this, I also wrote this post about life these days, and it’s genuinely the most emotional thing I’ve ever written.
Tamzin xx
P.S.
I have a few spots available for one-to-one mentoring, starting in June, as well a Creative group container. If you need some support on what can be a nightmare of a journey, get in touch or respond to this email.
Oh, Tamzin; I’m sorry it’s such an exhausting world. I wish I had a spare world lying around which was less exhausting. But I do not, so am very exhausted too
Maybe this is a completely inappropriate thing to say; I apologise if it is.
But this post made me think about how for me, a lot of the time when the world seems so overwhelming, it’s because it’s too much for any animal to bear. I start to think of all these sustaining things which would nurture any exhausted animal, if they had to cope with a world which was far more exhausting and enormous than they’d ever been built for.
I guess I find it hard to know how to balance that with not turning away from the brutal horrors in the world: it often feels immoral somehow to do sustaining things when there are so many awful things which are happening to so many people. But maybe it’s easier when I see myself in that way?