Kiren | "But where are you really from?"

Kiren's story and Soul Sign Portrait

The longer I do this work, the more convinced I become that everyone has a story to tell, and that we must listen to them. This week I’m sharing Kiren’s soul portrait and story, both of which were an absolute honour to work on. Thank you, Kiren.

Where are you really from? But where are your parents from? What are you? I need to put you in a box labelled “other”, to build a house around you and trap you in, to make you make sense to me.  

To tell someone what they’re “not” is potentially very damaging: Not quite Irish. Not quite Pakistani. Not quite English. Not Muslim enough, not not Muslim either. 

But Kiren questioned all of the “you’re not”s so that she could be the one to choose ‘I am…’ She gave herself time to investigate, to learn about who she is and what’s important to her. From that, she could build her own identity and, as a result, she’s so secure in who she is that nobody can sway it. Sometimes, she is still told that the facets of her personality “contradict each other” — but she has no need to make sense to others. She makes sense to herself; she belongs to herself and she knows that she can rely on herself, always. “I never allow anyone to shame me any-more, or to shame any part of who I am.”

From feeling forced to deny and reject her roots for so long, Kiren now embraces them. She weaves all of her cultures together; Irish humour and accent, Pakistani heritage and family, British manners, Oktoberfest- and rave-loving Munich girl. This is not to say that it was easy or without setbacks — not so long ago, Kiren thought that family caused only pain, but now, her family is everything to her. She worked hard to heal old hurts, to let go of generational trauma, to recover relationships that she once thought were lost forever. Now, she exists in a space of deep love and acceptance — nobody can break her heart again.

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This year, Kiren is transitioning her career from the high-flying life of busy travel and long working hours as a nanny (she’s also a fantastic yoga teacher), to becoming a doula. She’s ready to let go of the masculine hustle-culture of constantly working, always strong and always available for others, which ultimately only causes burn-out and exhaustion. Instead, Kiren has decided to support women in the days before and after birth. Particularly women who are far from home, who would otherwise have their families and traditions surrounding them.

Into this next chapter, Kiren carries with her the various characteristics she has inherited from the strong women in her family — from the tough leader in her Grandmother, who was aptly named “Queen”, to the gentle, motherly love and kindness of her own mother. No matter what she chooses to do next, she will do it with that balance: support with boundaries; strength with tenderness; caring for others without neglecting herself. She will continue to channel the almighty energy of her great-grandmother too, whose name translates to “Light”. Light has always been a theme for Kiren, she celebrates it and honours her great-grandmother through it, every day.

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“I’m still afraid of a few things. I’m afraid to jump off a boat into the sea, or to ski down a hill. I’d like to be able to just take the jump.”

But what about when you were pushed — did you sink? Did you let the currents of pressure and expectation pull you where they wanted to take you? Did you get sucked under, down into the heartbreak and disappointment? Because we all sink a little from time to time, when the big waves come — it just isn’t possible to always keep our heads above water. But you, Kiren, never stayed under for long. You took the floating pieces and you built yourself a raft. You climbed aboard, chose a direction and steered the way. Gently navigating the choppy tides towards the life you wanted. You might not have reached the shore just yet, but you’re standing tall and you can see it coming closer…

Kiren’s Soul Sign Portrait

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If you are interested in working together on your story, or having your own Soul Sign portrait of your energy, just reply to this email and we can chat through the options.

Thank you for reading, for sharing, for subscribing, for being here. I couldn’t continue to do this work without your support.

Tamzin xx