How to trust that things will be OK

When they really don't seem to be OK...

In one of my happy places, flow-drawing with ink

A couple of weeks ago, this dropped into my inbox:

“I’d like to ask about trust. Soon, my life is going to change — a job I’ve had for a few years is coming to an end, and depending on what work opportunities I get, I may also need to move. I have no idea what to expect so I’m finding it hard to trust that things will work out. I don’t want to leave, I want to believe that the right thing will come. How do I learn to trust that it will be OK?”

When I received this question, I had just finished a call with a Soul Signs client in which she asked me something very similar: How do I know that I will, eventually, get where I want to be in my career? How can I learn to be patient?

Full disclosure: I am not coming to you from a place of extreme success. I don’t have ten years behind me of unwavering trust and tales of how it led me to fulfilment and prosperity. In all honesty, the turnaround for me was very, very recent. When I first read this question I wondered if I should answer it, as I myself was plagued by the same question not so long ago. But that might put me in an even better position to answer, because in some ways, I’m still on that journey with you.

I remember so clearly how desperate it can feel. I remember how scary, exhausting and overwhelming it can be, when everything is uncertain.

I also remember that I could turn it around — that I did — and therefore you can too.

Trust is something you have to choose, again and again.

When everything crumbles, you can choose to believe that it will come back together. It may just look a bit different to what you had imagined.

When you finally summit a mountain and you look up to see yet another climb ahead of you, you can choose to surrender to the process.

When it seems like there’s nothing around you but darkness, you can choose to embrace it and ask it what it has to teach you, or you can light a match and follow the flame.

Trusting is the balance between holding on — taking steps towards what you want, and letting go — surrendering to what’s outside of your control.

Here’s how I found my way back to trust and surrender.

I’m discussing trust from the point of view of work/career opportunities, however, I do believe that it can be applied to other areas of our lives too. Having faith when it comes to our careers is about so much more than just a job and financial security — it’s about being safe, it’s about feeling seen, it’s about enjoying our lives. Trusting in our work has a knock-on effect that influences how we feel every day, how we measure our self-worth, and how we show up for ourselves and for others.

Over the last twelve months, I completely changed what I do and that meant that I had to trust myself to be up to the challenge when I began. Then, about six months ago, that trust was really put to the test — I had done a lot of hard work, I had hustled and put everything into this new idea, I had worked for a long time without earning much (which made me feel like a failure) and, spoiler: it does not immediately pay off.

That’s when I had to really learn what trust actually meant. Sure, I needed a certain amount of faith to get started — to launch a new idea, to begin working with clients on something I’d never done before, to show up very differently online.

But the real test comes later, when those first steps have been taken, the work has been done, and we have to wait and see what will happen next. So many of us quit at this stage, especially if we don’t get immediate results. You might send out job applications, but then you have to wait for a response. You might launch a business, but you have to wait to make any sales. You might start a creative project, and you have to wait to see what it leads to.

There is a lull. There is a moment, a space, where perhaps it feels like nothing is happening. You’ve sent something out into the world, and it feels as though nothing is coming back.

That’s when you have to let go.

It’s when you have to be patient, to persevere, to keep believing in what you have to offer.

You have to surrender to timing beyond your control, and hope that all you have done until now will pay off.

Even as I write this, there’s a voice of doubt inside my head. What if, maybe, some people don’t get what they want? Don’t I have friends who have worked extremely hard, and it still hasn’t necessarily paid off? I know others who face endless unfair hurdles, like visa denials because of their nationality, or endless health problems — how can I tell them to keep the faith?

I can only write from my own experience, and I have had my own fair share of tests over the years. I chose to believe that things generally do work out for the best, that trust pays off, even if sometimes we have to shift our perspective in order to recognise it.

“Everything works out in the end. If it didn’t, it’s because it hasn’t come to an end yet,” Fernando Sabino.

I went from desperate, blind panic about my ability to earn, after years of struggling with my health (which slowed down my career) to having belief, confidence and patience.

I went from lack, scarcity and fear, to hope, faith and trust. All I can do is tell you how I did that, and hope that it may help you too.

1. Learn to Receive. This isn’t just about money. Do you scoff at compliments? Do you refuse when someone wants to help you? I thought that I had worked on my ability to receive when I was in fact still blocking myself. I only accepted compliments when I believed I deserved them, the rest I rebutted. I accepted work that didn’t pay well. I had to really notice this behaviour and ways in which I was blocking myself, and take small steps to turn it around. For example, I turned on paid subscriptions here on Substack, before I felt ‘ready’ — thereby allowing myself to receive some support. I turned down work that wasn’t in alignment anymore. These small shifts made a big change in how I valued myself, my time, and my expertise. Last year, I wrote this post on Instagram that goes a little deeper into how and why you must learn to receive.

2. Practice. Trust doesn’t just come, we have to keep reminding ourselves of it. I listened to my gut, I paid attention to the positive signs around me (no matter how small) and I reminded myself that I was proud of what I had created, no matter what. Any positive feedback that came my way, I celebrated.

3. Perseverance. So much talk around manifesting the life we desire is about affirmations, thinking positive, and simply believing, but it’s not enough. Don’t get me wrong, working on your mindset and shifting negative thinking patterns is essential, but we also have to take action — just not to the point of burnout. Let people know that you’re looking for a job, talk openly and honestly about what you really want, keep sending applications out. Figure out the small steps you can take towards the life you dream of, and just begin.

4. Joy is always available. Take time off, live your life outside of work — not only to take a break from the stress, but because that’s where new, fresh ideas come from. Chance encounters occur. If you think you’re too stressed or too busy, you’re not! Human beings are always capable of joy — we sing and dance alongside terrible grief and pain. Worst case scenario: you engage in something that makes you feel good. Best case scenario: you happen across an opportunity you might never have found sitting behind your computer. What’s more, if we do things we enjoy, the more likely we are to have the energy to notice and chase opportunities.

For me, these small steps made a huge difference. Clients started to flow in with ease, along with other opportunities I hadn’t imagined. I moved gently from doubt to confidence. I still wobble occasionally, which I think is natural. Overall my work and life have transformed over the last year because I learnt to trust the process.

I hope that helps, and please do let me know how you get on with those big changes ahead!

Thank you all for reading and for being here.

Until next week,

Tamzin x