I wish I could sit with you for a cup of coffee (tea for me as I am not a coffee drinker) and discuss this very subject with you. You wrote your feelings about it in such an honest, beautiful manner. I used to be that woman at the beginning of your story here. It became a joke with family and close friends; even my own children after I had them. Always dressed in a certain manner, fully made up with my hair just so. The expensive leather boots with heels even worn with my jeans while shopping. Then my personal life experiences led to my examining this part of myself. Truly digging deeply into all of it. It’s a process, but trust me, it’s worth every minute of examining it.
Ah I absolutely love this, especially the commentary through the airport. This sentence particularly stuck with me, "This version of me who gets my resentment and disdain — she shows up. She’s here for me. She’s working hard, she’s making an effort and she gets the job done. Above all, she makes it from A to B, even if a little less elegantly than she’d like."
This is absolutely the version of me I'm trying to bring to my substack. Grateful to meet yours :)
I love this so much, I don't even know where to start! 😭 Why is this also me when I travel / go to work / leave the house?! I feel like Has it Together me has essentially given up and we've made peace. Mostly I'm just I'm Here What More Do You Want me and that sort of has to be enough. 😆 I kinda wish I was one of those 5am yoga girls that has their hair done every day and has "an outfit" instead of just clothes that are slightly crumpled but we'll go with it - but at the same time it's just not me... I'm more of an 8pm short-but-long-enough-to-feel-like-it-counts yoga girl, y'know?! Definitely done with trying to hard to be a new and improved version of me when it doesn't feel good to do more - it's too much pressure, like you said, and in the end makes us feel inadequate for no good reason. Here for all of our slightly chaotic, neurotic selves - fuelled by tea, hot baths, and hilarity. 🙌💫
I hated the worse me for years! Growing up I wasn’t good at doing makeup or choosing the right clothes to wear. As an adult I still bought the nice outfits but then felt like an imposter if I’d wear them and quickly return to my jeans and standard white T-shirt.
I’m getting there now though. I like worse me. She’s great! I’m friends with her and she doesn’t make me feel like an imposter, just me ☺️
Oh my gosh, this was so funny. From the bus necessity, to whoever is in proximity being at fault for me not sleeping! I like to think that chic and shit me are meeting a bit more often. We're more relaxed in each other's presence. One being less demanding makes the other less resistant to a version of me I want to show up as sometimes. But oh my goodness, all these very scenarios run through my head all the time. All the time!
Ah, I've been that version of myself too, and funny how often it is at airports! Maybe there is a subconscious reluctance to get on a plane and all that it entails nowadays. Or like you, wearing a turtleneck, sweater and jacket because it's freezing on the plane. Anyway, let's make friends with all the versions of ourselves. And have a good laugh while we're doing it.
This was a delightful read, I felt like I was there with you in the airport, perhaps instead of measuring yourself by the worse and best version of you, perhaps you could consider who is the truest, which version makes you feel most at ease, which version has your back and is always there for you, that’s the version who needs to be acknowledged and cared for... those ‘best’ versions of ourselves are often created by many shoulds and high expectations that often end up weighing us down. I’m looking forward to reading more of your words.
Tamzin, this is BRILLIANT - I can totally relate! Actually, I don't do the hair and make-up thing, nor heeled boots or designer handbag... but I have my own version of these and can look semi-presentable on a good day, and as for packing - YES, I'll take EVERYTHING I own in the line of books to read and books to write in, four hundred pens, my journal, my laptop, charging cable and SPARE charging cable too.... and then not touch any of them! 🤣 I'm laughing so much at this post, and identify with it so much - thank you!
I wish I could sit with you for a cup of coffee (tea for me as I am not a coffee drinker) and discuss this very subject with you. You wrote your feelings about it in such an honest, beautiful manner. I used to be that woman at the beginning of your story here. It became a joke with family and close friends; even my own children after I had them. Always dressed in a certain manner, fully made up with my hair just so. The expensive leather boots with heels even worn with my jeans while shopping. Then my personal life experiences led to my examining this part of myself. Truly digging deeply into all of it. It’s a process, but trust me, it’s worth every minute of examining it.
Ah I absolutely love this, especially the commentary through the airport. This sentence particularly stuck with me, "This version of me who gets my resentment and disdain — she shows up. She’s here for me. She’s working hard, she’s making an effort and she gets the job done. Above all, she makes it from A to B, even if a little less elegantly than she’d like."
This is absolutely the version of me I'm trying to bring to my substack. Grateful to meet yours :)
This was so funny, I loved every part of it, especially "(I reject winter)"
I love this so much, I don't even know where to start! 😭 Why is this also me when I travel / go to work / leave the house?! I feel like Has it Together me has essentially given up and we've made peace. Mostly I'm just I'm Here What More Do You Want me and that sort of has to be enough. 😆 I kinda wish I was one of those 5am yoga girls that has their hair done every day and has "an outfit" instead of just clothes that are slightly crumpled but we'll go with it - but at the same time it's just not me... I'm more of an 8pm short-but-long-enough-to-feel-like-it-counts yoga girl, y'know?! Definitely done with trying to hard to be a new and improved version of me when it doesn't feel good to do more - it's too much pressure, like you said, and in the end makes us feel inadequate for no good reason. Here for all of our slightly chaotic, neurotic selves - fuelled by tea, hot baths, and hilarity. 🙌💫
I hated the worse me for years! Growing up I wasn’t good at doing makeup or choosing the right clothes to wear. As an adult I still bought the nice outfits but then felt like an imposter if I’d wear them and quickly return to my jeans and standard white T-shirt.
I’m getting there now though. I like worse me. She’s great! I’m friends with her and she doesn’t make me feel like an imposter, just me ☺️
Oh my gosh, this was so funny. From the bus necessity, to whoever is in proximity being at fault for me not sleeping! I like to think that chic and shit me are meeting a bit more often. We're more relaxed in each other's presence. One being less demanding makes the other less resistant to a version of me I want to show up as sometimes. But oh my goodness, all these very scenarios run through my head all the time. All the time!
Ah, I've been that version of myself too, and funny how often it is at airports! Maybe there is a subconscious reluctance to get on a plane and all that it entails nowadays. Or like you, wearing a turtleneck, sweater and jacket because it's freezing on the plane. Anyway, let's make friends with all the versions of ourselves. And have a good laugh while we're doing it.
This was a delightful read, I felt like I was there with you in the airport, perhaps instead of measuring yourself by the worse and best version of you, perhaps you could consider who is the truest, which version makes you feel most at ease, which version has your back and is always there for you, that’s the version who needs to be acknowledged and cared for... those ‘best’ versions of ourselves are often created by many shoulds and high expectations that often end up weighing us down. I’m looking forward to reading more of your words.
Tamzin, this is BRILLIANT - I can totally relate! Actually, I don't do the hair and make-up thing, nor heeled boots or designer handbag... but I have my own version of these and can look semi-presentable on a good day, and as for packing - YES, I'll take EVERYTHING I own in the line of books to read and books to write in, four hundred pens, my journal, my laptop, charging cable and SPARE charging cable too.... and then not touch any of them! 🤣 I'm laughing so much at this post, and identify with it so much - thank you!
You said it so eloquently ! Such transparency on embracing all of who we embody. 🙏🏾😁
Love this! So pinpoint accurate and made me hoot with laughter too.