On sinking, floating, and all the levels in between
Why I disappeared and how to go slowly through Winter (especially January)
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Hello friends, and welcome to all the new subscribers; there’s been quite a few of you show up here over the last couple of weeks and I’m so grateful to have you here.
I just renamed this publication from ‘Uncovering’ to ‘Resurface’.
Uncovering is about peeling back the layers, finding the hidden gems we don’t realise we’ve buried, and while I still write about that, the name itself didn’t sit quite right.
Resurface, on the other hand, represents the shedding of dead weight, to be able to float back up to the light.
There’s nothing I like more than to float, especially on the surface of the sea. It’s my favourite place to be. I just lie back, close my eyes and trust that a wave won’t come along, and give all my weight to the water. It holds me and supports me.
Of course, sometimes a wave does come along. I might inhale some water and cough and splutter. Sometimes, I’ll sink a little.
The second half of last year was an exercise in resurfacing for me. I let go of so many weights that were holding me back, which allowed me to embark on new and much braver projects in my work. I let go of some conditioning, and as a result I could step up and start using my voice in ways I hadn’t even considered. I began to write and found such a loving audience to these letters that I never expected.
But then December and January hit, and I sank.
Naturally, it made me feel like a fraud. How can I write about resurfacing or do healing work with clients if I myself have sunk back down into the murky darkness? If I can’t see clearly through the silt, what value can I possibly offer others?
But the truth is, we can’t always float. We can’t hope to resurface if we haven’t spent some time in the depths. I would be no use to my clients if I myself haven’t gone through the process of sinking down and floating back up, over and over again. Each time, we learn something new. The darkness may be cold and harsh, but there is so much value in there too.
So yes, I find January tough, and I don’t get moving as quickly as I’d like. I think it’s the worst time of year to be making resolutions or evaluating Where I’m At versus Where I Think I Should Be.
In a conversation with my coach Natalia last week, I mentioned that I just couldn’t get going, and she reminded me to be careful not to work work work and exhaust myself (which is my pattern), to which I responded, ‘Oh, I haven’t been Go Go Go at all. Not even Go. Not even guh.’
So, if you’re not even guh either, don’t worry, it’s Winter. Find what feels good. Moving very slowly through my days is what feels good to me right now, so that’s what I’m doing.
If you get some fresh air everyday and move your body, you’re doing well. If you don’t manage that, then say some kind words to yourself and give yourself a hug. Everything will be OK.
Ready to see some transformation in your life? Here’s how we can work together over the next few months to make some magic happen:
Soul Signs - Energy Portraiture: Start the year by committing to your own growth, healing and transformation, and take home a portrait that reminds you of your true, powerful self. Currently priced at €1111. Learn more and book here.
Those of you on this newsletter receive a discount of €100.
Resurface - Tell your story: an opportunity to unravel and share your story. Time to reframe some outdated stories and break free of unhelpful patterns! Available now at only €333. Learn more and book here.
I always want my work to be as accessible as possible, so if you’d like to work with me but aren’t sure how to make it happen, send me an email and we can figure something out.
I look forward to touching base with you all and hearing how you’re doing, let me know in the comments how your January is going, and one thing you’ll be doing to maximise comfort over the next few weeks.
Until next week,
Thank you for sharing. I have real 'new year, new you!' social fatigue. I prefer 'new year, same me quietly working on some stuff'....! X
Hey Tazmin! This reminds me of some stuff I wrote a while back about how narratives around struggle can end up being a bit unhelpful: a story about how things were bad, but now are good is obviously really empowering, but it doesn’t always give you the space for things to get bad again for a while.
I’ve found it’s helpful to try and see the good times as a part of what you are and what you’ll be, which will grow and grow as you do? That maybe helps when life doesn’t fit the shape of a story, which it often doesn’t.
But I don’t think you’re a fraud for being a human; for finding something important and then losing it again. If you found out you have keys and say “I have keys,” you aren’t a fraud if you don’t know where you’ve put them. You have learned something important and vital, and can teach other people to learn it too! It’s fine if it isn’t constantly there with you, I think. Obviously I’m just some person on the internet, but that is my view, in any case